Notes from Turkey

1. I appeared on Turkish television two nights ago. I was interviewed about Ramadan and how I thought it affects the city. I was wearing very unfortunate clothes and sporting very unfortunate hair (not unusual).

My European TV Debut

2. I saw John the Baptist's arm yesterday. It's encased ın hand-shaped metal ın Topkapı Palace and it looks straight up evil.


3. When we were ın Italy, the Coordınatrıx lamented that the Italıan men were not attentive to us. She should have come to Turkey. I've become an excellent lıar ın Turkey. It's absolutely essentıal to extract myself from all the conversatıons ın whıch the men here try to ınvıte themselves back to our hotel room or try to persuade us to come for a drınk wıth them. We almost always get accosted when we're out and the conversation almost always ends with a Turkish man saying, "Where are you going now? I will come with you." This exchange from the Spice Market yesterday is typical (the whole transaction took place as I was walking; I never stopped):

Merchant: I have pashmina inside my shop for your mother-in-law.

Me: No, thank you.

Merchant: Why no? You do not like your mother-in-law or you do not have a mother-in-law?

Me: I do not like my mother-in-law.

Merchant: Wait! I have poison.

4. A speedo swimsuit is never a good idea for a man. Especially for men who come from countries where close-talking is okay. (I'm talking to you, Australia!)

5. How to Cross the Street in Turkey:

1. Stand on the curb and look anxious.
2. Watch taxis drive too fast and consider your own mortality.
3. Wait for locals to reach the curb.
4. Attach yourself to the locals and zip across the street in their wake, using them as human shields.

6. The Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia

• Seeing the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia lit up at night is good.
• Seeing the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia lit up at night during Ramadan with crowds of Muslims picnicking on the lawn is better.
• Seeing the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia lit up at night during Ramadan with crowds of Muslims picknicking on the lawn while prayers are sung out from the mosque and you munch on Turkish Delight is the best.

Crowds around Hagia Sophia

Blue Mosque with Lights Strung for Ramadan

7. I have lots and lots of pictures of gorgeous mosaics and crazy Medusa heads and beautiful sites. One day I will let you look at them.